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How To Deal With And Overcome Church Cliques

Posted on December 11, 2015 by Jared Meredith

I am so thankful for the learning experiences that God gives us for certain phases of our lives. I truly believe with all my heart that it is out of what we learn when we do not possess answer upfront that causes us to have true growth as Christians. One of the more recent learning experiences I have had has been the concept of “church cliques” and the harm that it brings into the body of Christ.

First off, let us define it. A clique (pronounced like click) is considered a small group of people with shared interests or other features in common who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them. You may have heard this term also be used as the inner circle, the in-crowd, the cool kids, the popular table, etc. I grew up all through elementary and middle school being considered “different” and was not leading to the conducive outcome of me fitting in. I’m not exactly sure what made me be so different from others…was it how I looked? Was it how I talked? Was it because of my name or my family? Was I too studious? Did I live on the wrong side of town? I now realize looking back that being different was far better than being another one of the in-crowd because at least I was defined for who I was (instead of what people stereotyped me to be based on the group). However, when I dealt with it as a young man it felt like the worst feeling in the world. This feeling was like a hovering cloud over my head that seemingly never left for what seemed like forever.

Looking back around my middle school to high school years I now realize that one of the contributing factors to what led me so easily into drug and alcohol abuse so early was needing a greater acceptance from facing an even greater rejection. Unfortunately where I found acceptance came at a great cost; and before I knew it what was once my enemy had become my greatest ally. I went from running from the cliques to becoming one in hanging around others that brought out the worst in me. As I look back now I realize that I was not only a hypocrite to others but was one to myself as well. The more and more I look back into the things that made me suffer as a young man help me to better address what pushed me into bad choices when I was not in strong control of my actions. Now that I have been saved by Jesus Christ the things that would have once destroyed me no longer have power.

I am so thankful I am free from the influence of sin by substance abuse! Unfortunately there is one thing that has continued to try and haunt me beyond my youth and immaturity: the battle of the cliques. I still see it all around me in families, homes, organizations, workplaces, ministries, and even churches. The sizes and personalities of the groups vary that drive them but they are nonetheless there and stronger than they have ever been. It’s everywhere. In short, church cliques are bad and will destroy your environments if they are not addressed. As I feel led to write this I hope that wherever this applies that you receive it with an open mind.

Here are 10 lessons learned about dealing with and overcoming church cliques:

1) Cliques are quick and easy to form and will help you feel good in the short term. However the long term effects will stunt your growth as an individual and leave you and your church limited to those whom you consider “in”.

2) Cliques are destructive for the growth of members your church. Loving people when they do what you want and then pushing them away when they disagree sends mixed signals to others whom should only receive love.

3) If you look for the support of certain individuals only then you have likely formed a clique without even realizing it.

4) If people deliberately exclude people intentionally then it is a clique. If you believe people do not have a right to contribute because of something that led you to cut them out then a division has formed and a clique is upon you.

5) Cliques drive away people more frequently than any other kind of problem. More issues come about in the imagination of others whom are feeling the pressure from cliques more than actual pressure from any one individual.

6) God did not form cliques. God formed churches with no respect of person and equality for the body. God essentially modeled the church as an anti-clique!

7) If jealousy and emotions drive the motives of an individual to work against others and not for them then whom you are recruiting to accomplish your will is a clique.

8) The best way to eliminate a clique forming in church business is to have transparency in all tasks and invite everyone to participate.

9) A good method of promoting fellowship in your church is to allow a time for people to interact with one another.

10) The ultimate clique-killer is loving everyone as you love yourself and making sure everyone around you feels just as accepted as the people you like the most.

I leave you with three powerful scriptures you can use as teaching points:

Romans 12:16

16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

1 Corinthians 1:10

10 Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

James 2:1

2 My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons.

Pray, Worship and Surrender

Posted on November 3, 2015 by Jared Meredith

2 Chronicles 20:5-9,12-15

5 And Jehoshaphat stood in the congregation of Judah and Jerusalem, in the house of the Lord, before the new court,

6 And said, O Lord God of our fathers, art not thou God in heaven? and rulest not thou over all the kingdoms of the heathen? and in thine hand is there not power and might, so that none is able to withstand thee?

7 Art not thou our God, who didst drive out the inhabitants of this land before thy people Israel, and gavest it to the seed of Abraham thy friend for ever?

8 And they dwelt therein, and have built thee a sanctuary therein for thy name, saying,

9 If, when evil cometh upon us, as the sword, judgment, or pestilence, or famine, we stand before this house, and in thy presence, (for thy name is in this house,) and cry unto thee in our affliction, then thou wilt hear and help.

12 O our God, wilt thou not judge them? for we have no might against this great company that cometh against us; neither know we what to do: but our eyes are upon thee.

13 And all Judah stood before the Lord, with their little ones, their wives, and their children.

14 Then upon Jahaziel the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph, came the Spirit of the Lord in the midst of the congregation;

15 And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat, Thus saith the Lord unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s.

1) Jehoshaphat praises, confesses and declares that God is omnipotent over all and no one can stand against his power or in the way of his will.

2) He praises God for his faithfulness (his track record) to his people in the past and in the present.

3) He confessed that there was nothing they could do in and of themselves to change the situation. And by this they were totally surrendered to God for his help, mercy and deliverance.

The next thing that happened is when God spoke back.

If you go to God in prayer with a sincere heart he WILL respond
God has a word for you and your situation
Many times the Holy Spirit shows up after God’s people come before him to worship and confess their dependency on him.

Always remember when we confess our faults and ask for forgiveness then we get to a place where we can worship. When we can worship we produce humbleness in our heart and open up our spirit man/woman. And when we are humble in our heart we can then surrender to God and listen for his response in our lives!

Video: “The Power of Persistence”

Posted on October 10, 2015 by Dan Meredith

As we serve God we often times cannot see where He is due to being so crowded with life. But if we can learn to be persistent and desperate enough to be moved by our faith we too can see miracles come into our lives!

Sermon Notes: https://www.heartofgraceministries.com/blog/after-the-fact/power-persistence/

The Power of Persistence

Posted on October 4, 2015 by Jared Meredith

Luke 8:36-37, 43-48

36 They also which saw it told them by what means he that was possessed of the devils was healed.

37 Then the whole multitude of the country of the Gadarenes round about besought him to depart from them; for they were taken with great fear: and he went up into the ship, and returned back again.

43 And a woman having an issue of blood twelve years, which had spent all her living upon physicians, neither could be healed of any,

44 Came behind him, and touched the border of his garment: and immediately her issue of blood stanched.

45 And Jesus said, Who touched me? When all denied, Peter and they that were with him said, Master, the multitude throng thee and press thee, and sayest thou, Who touched me?

46 And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.

47 And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately.

48 And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.

Matthew 9:19-22

19 And Jesus arose, and followed him, and so did his disciples.

20 And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment:

21 For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.

22 But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.

36-37 – It was crowded and difficult to maneuver around to see Jesus. Unless you were going to be strong enough to get to Jesus you were pushed out of the way

43-44 – We find a point of desperation; how desperate was this woman after she had suffered for 12 years with something she could not explain? How desperate was to find a solution after she has spent everything she had? This desperation was finally enough to use faith to push through when she could not see Jesus…to get where He was.

45-48 – Now the woman knew she had touched Jesus. Jesus wanted the woman to know that He knew she had touched him. As she testifies the witness of her miracle stirred all whom heard her speak.

Compassion: The Catalyst for Change

Posted on September 17, 2015 by Jared Meredith

Luke 10:25-37

25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

We all are longing for change, for better, for the good in the world to come. But what will bring that change? Some say God and some say Jesus. Some say being born again and others say being filled more with the Holy Spirit. Some say praying more, studying more, attending church daily. Some would say to have more passion in worship and others would say the bible. Others say more teaching, more preaching, more singing, bigger churches, bigger budgets, more programs and more structure.

In this continual search and discovery for the meaning of our purpose there are a few in life that stumble into the revelation that God meant for us to hear. Some have their eyes opened to see what God wanted us to envision (even without our natural sight).

I have been searching in my own life to find where it all changed for me. I am only but beginning to open my eyes to understand what God wanted me to see and understand about my Heavenly purpose on earth. The turning point in my life was between my destruction and my brand new life; the point between having no hope and living by faith. This point was between me being a hopeless, busted up lifeless drug addict with no solution and now knowing that I can do all things through Christ.

The change that brought my life to new meaning was inspired by a love that was shown to me that I did not ask for, was not looking for nor knew could deliver me from the life I was in. The turning point of this parable is when we find what begins to make things better. This certain man had no neighbors before yet he found one when he could not look for himself.

Compassion is the catalyst for the good that can be done in someones life. Although we in our judgments, opinions and ideals can fall short of this Jesus reminds us by our very salvation that without compassion we could not be new creatures.

Without compassion the world would be lost. Without making the conscious decision to show compassion and make a difference the world will suffer.

Compassion defies logic, normal thinking and looks only at the need in front of it. I would not be standing here today unless someone had shown compassion on me.

While we all cannot be the catalyst in every situation around us we can easily identify the good that we could do by the blessings God has given us to use. It is easy for me to see that by being blessed to play music and sing that I should encourage others by giving of my own time and effort. I am standing here to day to give you encouragement to continue in the good that you can give for others. The sad truth of it all is that people are being overlooked, walked away from, ignored, bullied and made to feel worthless.

Jesus Christ came into our lives so that we would never feel that way again. And as we live our lives we must learn to be the catalyst for change. We are the compassion that this broken world needs. We are the arms to hold the hurting. We are the thoughts to inspire new hope and greatness in others. We are the love to lead people from suicide and despair. We are the patience to help people like the person I used to be continue to strive for the best with purpose. So as we conclude in this moment, be reminded that you are wonderfully created with the compassion that Christ showed to you so that you can be the catalyst for change in others!

Video: “Watch Out for Quicksand”

Posted on September 16, 2015 by Dan Meredith

What are you standing on? Are your Christian values easily compromised? Are you prone to sin easily and without much temptation? Are the people around you showing Godliness or are you just trying to fit in? Take a listen and be careful of the quicksand!

Enjoy the video!

Sermon Notes: https://www.heartofgraceministries.com/blog/after-the-fact/watch-quicksand/#.VfoZbtJVhHw

Watch Out For Quicksand

Posted on September 16, 2015 by Jared Meredith

Matthew 7:24-27

24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:

27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

What are you standing on?

are your Christian values easily compromised?
Are you prone to sin easily and without much temptation?
Are the people around you showing Godliness or are you just trying to fit in?

Quicksand (Sand easily moved or readily yielding to pressure)

choices that look like easy fixes that lead to hard drama
words you say that make you feel better in the short-term and leave you asking for forgiveness in the long-term
praising at church but caught in sin in a very quick amount of time

Psalm 69:1-8

69 Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.

2 I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.

3 I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.

4 They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away.

5 O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.

6 Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord God of hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel.

7 Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face.

8 I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother’s children.

The Rock (as support and defense of his people)

in the rock you have stability, a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness to you by how he blesses us continually
a firmly planted rock is unmovable. So is firm faith standing on the stability of God
God wants you to stand on your faith and be stable in His promise
balance in your life is by standing firm on the rock when the winds of life blow around you

1 Samuel 2:2

2 There is none holy as the Lord: for there is none beside thee: neither is there any rock like our God.

2 Samuel 22:32

32 For who is God, save the Lord? and who is a rock, save our God?

Psalm 62:2

2 He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved.

1 Corinthians 16:13

13 Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.

Proverbs 10:25

25 As the whirlwind passeth, so is the wicked no more: but the righteous is an everlasting foundation.

Philippians 1:27

27 Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;

10 Life Transforming Actions To Making Your Life Count

Posted on August 31, 2015 by Jared Meredith

Ephesians 5:1-21

5 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;

2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.

7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.

8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:

9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)

10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.

13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.

14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.

15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,

16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.

18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

10 Life Transforming Actions To Make It Count

We’ve got to learn to make it count for something. To redeem the time while we can. To be happy while we still live. To enjoy life through Christ before we die. And while we’re here, to show the difference to the lost and dying world.

If you have burdens that are heavy or you have sinned and need forgiveness, repent.
If you have things you want God to know are important to you to change, pray.
If you want to grow in your knowledge of God and find direction, read the word.
If God has been good to you for things in your life, thank him.
If you want to be supported in your ministry, support the ministry.
If you want your loved ones to be saved, witness to them.
If you want the word to come alive in your church, live the word (be a doer).
If you want people to come to your church, publish good works (tell somebody).
If you want God to know how much you care about him, worship him in righteousness.
If you want your church to grow, find something you can contribute to.