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Life Lessons

Repeat It!

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My sister and I like to run for our exercise.  Since we are not fast runners we approach our runs from an endurance perspective.  Recently an 8k (about 5 miles) was being held at Norris Dam in honor of the dam’s 80th anniversary.  We had not run the course before and didn’t know what to expect.  When we got there we discovered that the starting line was at the bottom of the dam and you had to run out the road and then climb uphill until you reached the top of the dam.  About 45% of the 5 miles was going to be uphill and then about the 7:30 start time there came a downpour of rain which meant that now our shoes, socks, and clothes were all wet.  We began the race in the rain but about the time we reached the top of the dam it had quit.  We had to cross the dam and then run about a half mile beyond to the turnaround point.  Once we got to the turnaround it was downhill from there which made the last part easier to run but we were still questioning whether it was worth the trip we had made.

If you have ever participated in a road race you know that there are always runners and watchers that try to speak an encouraging word to you when you pass them which helps and they normally have a water station at some point so you can grab a quick drink if needed.  But at this race when we got near the end there was a gentleman stationed about 100 yards from the finish line.  When we went by, he said, “You’ve got it now, just the length of a football field, you can make it.”  We were already determined to finish but his words made us run a little faster.  It encouraged us right when we needed it.  Several minutes later after the finish line when we were going to our car we came back by the gentleman and he was still at his post saying the same thing to the runners just now at that point.  The Lord spoke to me and reminded me that this is probably how many people in the ministry feel.  Ministers may feel they preach the same sermon, singers may feel they sing the same song, teachers may feel they have taught this lesson many times before but it is still important because the runners just now finishing the race need to hear the encouraging words.  Although he had repeated the words over and over to each runner that came through it was fresh and new and encouragement to them to finish.  So if there are days that you feel like you are carrying the same message you carried yesterday just remember it is new to those that you speak it to and that they need to hear it.

Galatians  6:9  And let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

How To Deal With And Overcome Church Cliques

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I am so thankful for the learning experiences that God gives us for certain phases of our lives. I truly believe with all my heart that it is out of what we learn when we do not possess answer upfront that causes us to have true growth as Christians. One of the more recent learning experiences I have had has been the concept of “church cliques” and the harm that it brings into the body of Christ.

First off, let us define it. A clique (pronounced like click) is considered a small group of people with shared interests or other features in common who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them. You may have heard this term also be used as the inner circle, the in-crowd, the cool kids, the popular table, etc. I grew up all through elementary and middle school being considered “different” and was not leading to the conducive outcome of me fitting in. I’m not exactly sure what made me be so different from others…was it how I looked? Was it how I talked? Was it because of my name or my family? Was I too studious? Did I live on the wrong side of town? I now realize looking back that being different was far better than being another one of the in-crowd because at least I was defined for who I was (instead of what people stereotyped me to be based on the group). However, when I dealt with it as a young man it felt like the worst feeling in the world. This feeling was like a hovering cloud over my head that seemingly never left for what seemed like forever.

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Looking back around my middle school to high school years I now realize that one of the contributing factors to what led me so easily into drug and alcohol abuse so early was needing a greater acceptance from facing an even greater rejection. Unfortunately where I found acceptance came at a great cost; and before I knew it what was once my enemy had become my greatest ally. I went from running from the cliques to becoming one in hanging around others that brought out the worst in me. As I look back now I realize that I was not only a hypocrite to others but was one to myself as well. The more and more I look back into the things that made me suffer as a young man help me to better address what pushed me into bad choices when I was not in strong control of my actions. Now that I have been saved by Jesus Christ the things that would have once destroyed me no longer have power.

I am so thankful I am free from the influence of sin by substance abuse! Unfortunately there is one thing that has continued to try and haunt me beyond my youth and immaturity: the battle of the cliques. I still see it all around me in families, homes, organizations, workplaces, ministries, and even churches. The sizes and personalities of the groups vary that drive them but they are nonetheless there and stronger than they have ever been. It’s everywhere. In short, church cliques are bad and will destroy your environments if they are not addressed. As I feel led to write this I hope that wherever this applies that you receive it with an open mind.

Here are 10 lessons learned about dealing with and overcoming church cliques:

1) Cliques are quick and easy to form and will help you feel good in the short term. However the long term effects will stunt your growth as an individual and leave you and your church limited to those whom you consider “in”.

2) Cliques are destructive for the growth of members your church. Loving people when they do what you want and then pushing them away when they disagree sends mixed signals to others whom should only receive love.

3) If you look for the support of certain individuals only then you have likely formed a clique without even realizing it.

4) If people deliberately exclude people intentionally then it is a clique. If you believe people do not have a right to contribute because of something that led you to cut them out then a division has formed and a clique is upon you.

5) Cliques drive away people more frequently than any other kind of problem. More issues come about in the imagination of others whom are feeling the pressure from cliques more than actual pressure from any one individual.

6) God did not form cliques. God formed churches with no respect of person and equality for the body. God essentially modeled the church as an anti-clique!

7) If jealousy and emotions drive the motives of an individual to work against others and not for them then whom you are recruiting to accomplish your will is a clique.

8) The best way to eliminate a clique forming in church business is to have transparency in all tasks and invite everyone to participate.

9) A good method of promoting fellowship in your church is to allow a time for people to interact with one another.

10) The ultimate clique-killer is loving everyone as you love yourself and making sure everyone around you feels just as accepted as the people you like the most.

I leave you with three powerful scriptures you can use as teaching points:

Romans 12:16

16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

1 Corinthians 1:10

10 Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

James 2:1

2 My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons.

Handling Denominational Prejudice From Other Christians

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There was an event that occurred recently that was related to an opportunity that we were cancelled out of at the last minute. In the revealing of more information it was clear that we were cancelled due to a difference of doctrinal beliefs. At first I was very surprised that such an occurrence could happen in today’s church; however the more I began to ponder and realize I now understand that this was not an isolated event. This behavior of isolationism has become more prevalent in established sanctuaries that possess a “if your beliefs are unlike mine then I can’t accept you” mentality.

First of all, I am going to address those who adopt “my way or the highway”. What I’m about to tell you is going to be straight and to the point: if we cannot learn to work together as Christians for the greater good of people receiving Christ then we are no better than the rest of others that people so proudly turn their nose to. Let me ask it this way: if you knew that when your loved one would be saved that they would shout and dance (and possibly embarrass you) when they worship would that be enough for you to hinder their path to Christ? If you had a spouse that had been lost 30 years and upon being saved began to speak in other tongues would you shun them and consider what they received “crazy” or not of God? What about yourself?! If you knew you could be totally delivered from depression but you grew to minister the gospel to your peers…would you completely surrender?

Secondly, if your doctrines were enough to save the world then why have the not worked? If your own ideals and beliefs were the answer to your problems then how can we explain when God uses others to bless us? If religion and the checklists that the “do and don’t” folks hold so tight to would work then why do I see so many that are in the same place they were when religion found them? Let me say this last thing to you: it is people that think I am crazy that remind me every day that religion and doctrine do not save people; Jesus Christ is the only way, the truth and the life to this lost and dying world. My prayer for you is that you continue to spend your efforts on me and others that genuinely care about making a difference. At least then you would not hinder another person from accepting salvation for fear of prejudice and attack from its own.

Finally, I have a scripture and word for some of you who are dealing with some form of this from people. I want to remind you assuredly that people perish for their lack of knowledge. And when people get so ingrained in the ideals of a doctrine they lose sight on the entire word of God. Remember that denomination does not define you. The blood of Christ in your life is what makes you who you are! Let us take a look at the example of Stephen:

Acts 7:54-60

54 When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth.

55 But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God,

56 And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.

57 Then they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord,

58 And cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man’s feet, whose name was Saul.

59 And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.

60 And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

Whether people stood by or took part in throwing the stones they were equally guilty in this moment. Even in the midst of all the good things Stephen had done there were still people that wished to see him fall. And even in the midst of something so undeserving you hear “lay not this sin to their charge”. What a powerful showing of how the enemy has no hold on God’s children! Be reminded this day that even if people try to bring you down that you can be at peace enough to even forgive them and enter into peace and rest!

To this day I never had the chance to stand in the church that I was brought up in for 20 years due to the differences that left me shunned as a minister. That has not stopped me, however, from going back numerous times in my life to still fellowship with people. We go to many churches of various denominations and love each and every chance we get to show the love of God by sharing our gifts that God has given us with others. Our own family all goes to different churches of different denomination yet we serve our ministry to whosoever will. Your willingness to be open and worship with others is what makes what is precious in you shine. With this mentality people won’t see you as one denomination or another but a child of God. I choose to be of no denomination because I feel it limits people so much to whom they truly can be in God. I choose to be a child of God and to be defined by the word of God and what it’s promises entail for me! And now when I go through situations where I am shunned or made to feel like nothing I am reminded that I simply ask for their forgiveness and be at peace.

So today, I forgive you and pray that the willingness to be open and serve with Christians of all beliefs will enter into your heart. Because at the end of the day when we are called to be with Christ there will be no parties by denomination. We will be one body, separated no longer by ideals, opinions and doctrines. Open your eyes to see that we all need each other in the last days!

Hey, Can You Spot Me? Can Anyone Help Me? Is There Anyone There? Help!

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I grew up my entire life always being enriched with wondrous virtues and instruction. Things like:

“Trust in the Lord and He will never fail you”

“You need to be saved in order to make Heaven your home”

“Ask Jesus to forgive you for your sins”

“Hold on through the storm and God will not leave you”

“When no one else will help encourage yourself”

I believed those words from all of those whom spoke these to me that they meant well and spoke it from a good place in their heart. In fact, I have even clung to the encouragement and listened to the instruction that I was told. However I cannot help but feel like that in the day I live in that something feels different than before. The many voices that I use to hear deliver such phrases are declining and I find myself looking inside my soul for strength now more than ever. It made me think, “Is this the way it’s supposed to be? Is it like riding a bike and once you’re off you no longer need that encouragement and kind push?”

At first I thought, “Yeah that’s got to be it. I’m just not praying and working hard enough or I would obviously see what I’ve been told my whole life”. And then after months and months of more decline (almost to silence) I then stood exhausted from all the effort and began to question myself in my feverish pursuit of keeping the bar that I had been told to hold my whole life up completely on my own. Thanks be to God somehow I came through what would have probably broke others down to loneliness and depression. When my pride wanted me to just write everyone off that had seemingly forsaken me the spirit of the Lord quickened me and began to teach me about something I had never realized before.

My revelation was simply this: we all need a spotter from time to time, but sometimes we are to be the spotter when others cannot carry their own load. It put me in the mind of this imagery:

spotting

Then I recalled this scripture:

Romans 15:1 

1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.

Powerful, right?! This helps me to realize that I am not to carry everything alone but I am not to always expect others to run to me either. Until we can learn to help each other as Christ instructed (love our neighbors as ourself) than we are trying to selfishly lift our own weights and demand the world to be our spot.

So what do you do when you cannot seem to carry your own weight? What do we do when no one steps up to help us in a time of weakness?

1) First of all, stop screaming for help from other people. Chances are if no one has come to your aid yet that God has not received your full trust and surrender. Have you confessed to God your shortcomings and the pains and hurts of your life that seem to keep you down. This heavy load we willingly carry needs to be the first thing we get rid of. Cleansing your soul is necessary. Repenting sincerely of things will help you to get up and feel lighter before you make the first effort towards anything.

2) Secondly, stop trying to lift a weight that you cannot carry without God’s help. We cannot continue to try to get to the mountain top without seeing that it takes thousands of steps before we hit the pinnacle. Daily prayer and thanksgiving opens the doorway of your heart to be humbled and at peace with things you cannot change. It also helps you to gain clarity on things that are making it harder for you than it should be.

3) Thirdly, make an effort that you feel like you can handle. Get to a church weekly, read some scripture everyday (you do not have to put yourself to sleep to have a meaningful bible study), pray for a few minutes a couple times a day, listen to some praise and worship at some point and allow meditation toward God, and keep a positive attitude even in the face of adversity. God would have you to walk simple steps of faith than to try and run with so many complexities.

4) Fourth, once you begin to establish your personal connection to God begin to challenge yourself. Step out of your comfort zone every now and then. Praise him a little more than normal. Pray a few minutes longer than normal. Help someone like you would help yourself. For as we challenge ourselves we find that this is where we begin to build strength and get stronger. And as you begin to step out by faith in these moments when you would be afraid God will help you and spot you initially with an overwhelming move of his presence and favor all about you.

5) Finally, once you realize that you can handle some things then begin to look for situations and individuals that you know you can lend a hand too. The bible talks of it being far better to give than receive. I have found that I gain just as much strength helping someone else learn to lift and carry the burdens of life than I do always just yelling for help and never trying.

Remember: we can lift a stronger amount of weight together than if we tried to do it separately on our own. Help others that you know that you can and remember that as you help them it will build you up to be stronger. And as we lead by example I hope and pray that this decline in encouragement begins to cease and that we return to the sincere compassion of Christ.

Help Me Be Faithful To Believe In The Things I Cannot See

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There was a season in my life recently where I was beginning to desire things to really move to the next chapter of what I was desiring to happen (new home, updated job, an ease in some stresses, etc.). As I began to pray God spoke to me through many sermons about the things in my life that must learn to be guided by faith and not by sight. Not too long after I began a serious pursuit for change in prayer I walked outside of my house at the time and beheld this:

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At first glance this appears to be a normal beautiful day. Most days I would have probably looked over this and marched right in the car and went on…but something was different this time. What makes this picture different is that the clouds were covering the mountainside entirely and were taking the shape of the mountain in its entirety. IMMEDIATELY my spirit was quickened within me and I heard the words: “see the mountain by faith and not by sight”. What a mighty blessing this was to me!

I cannot hardly put into words this experience that I had but what it helped me to realize is that faith helps us shape what does not appear to be what we want into what we are desiring. Faith simply reveals what our sight is covering. My prayer has been since this experience: “God help me to see the things that I cannot see with my own understanding. Help me to see things by faith and not simply but what my perception tells me” Since this experience God has blessed me many times over what I ever expected to happen. However my friends I must say that the biggest life changer for me that goes beyond the materials things was the lesson I learned that day about faith. Faith helps me move mountains by seeing beyond the fact that I cannot see it move. Faith helps me believe in the things that would seem impossible. And without faith our purpose is dead. Live to grow your faith to see Christ and the wonder of His love for your life. Be faithful to receive the goal of your faith. I close with this passage:

1 Peter 1:5-9

“who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

Understanding The Role Of Compassion

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Before I get to what I want to discuss today I want to testify about one of the toughest issues of my life. I grew up the first half my life looking for love that was returned the same way I gave it. This varied from time to time from it being family, classmates, and friends. I also grew up my life mostly coming up empty on this search. And after a season of my life passed with this reality of no reciprocity coming back to me I essentially gave up on being a compassionate person. It then became all about me and what others were not doing. It was about living with the proverbial “chip on my shoulder” and being constantly frustrated with what others had not done. It became about how others had hurt me and how I could not let go of why people continued to do so. The bulk of my teenage years were in a selfish self-loathing hatred for those whom never were there and did not care. And as I lived as the victim the enemy was there to be my shoulder to cry on in the form of drugs, alcohol and all forms of hindrances that left me in utter misery and bondage. The greatest part of my testimony is not just the deliverance from the substances and hindrances that held me down for all of my youth; for when I had a heart that was hurt from not receiving an equal or more powerful love God came to my rescue. God’s love came to my detriment and picked me up again. God’s love was ultimately there for me even when I had done nothing or gave anything to God first. God had compassion on me. He not only transformed what was ailing me but caused me to be loved the way I had always longed for!

One of the hardest risks to take with a relationship another person is that the love, respect and understanding you give and share to that person is not given back in the same manner to which you gave it. The fact of the matter is that sometimes it is not or never returned. Sometimes people will only want what you can give and never show reciprocity in kind. And just like a crisp slap in the face reality comes and reminds us from time to time of just how frail our emotions really are when it comes to the impact of others. Whether this circumstance appears in your acquaintances, friend, foe or family does not make the pain any less hurtful to your heart. Boundaries and lines will be crossed, people you would expect more of will let you down, and emotions will flare irrationally and unexpectedly to your preparation. What you have to remember is that what you do for others should cause you to expect little in return and to be content with getting nothing back. Jesus gave his life for all of us who did nothing to be worthy of His love. This same love we should give to all. We should do our due diligence to help others, even when it is in the middle of the night and inconvenient. Compassion is the virtue of God that comes out of us when we still help people in spite of what they do to us.

This is why compassion is so powerful. Compassion does not give regard to reciprocity. Compassion gives in spite of what is given back. Compassion sees the need and meets it despite the want that may lie within. The most powerful miracles that Jesus brought forth as a man on earth all derived from the compassion he had upon those to whom others said were not deserving of love or help. Compassion is not shrouded under the weight of guilt or the obligation of ones duty to do something because they have to. If you want to know the rest of what compassion/charity/love is to be, read 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Be reminded that the good you do for others should not be expecting an equal or greater investment back from them. In fact, people may give little or no respect for your life or decisions. And if I could go one step further I would say that they will even come after you to guilt you about what you have not done (even after all that you have already did).That comes as a surprise, right? Even though it does it should not alarm us at the rate it does. In fact, scripture leads us to tackle this sort of behavior with wisdom:

Matthew 7:1-11

1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Wait a minute! I have looked at this passage all my life with the wrong outlook.I now know that this is not a call for people to do things just because they want it done right to themselves; this is actually quite the deeper call to society to have compassion for the most difficult of needs. If people need you would you turn the compassion away that was shown you? By the simple fact alone that you were undeserving of God’s love yet you received it should tell us all that there is never a need too big nor too small that we should be attempting to do our best to help.

Compassion says: “I see that I do not have to do this for you. I was once given a love I did not deserve. So by this love I pay it forward to someone else.” The evidence of God in your life after all is that you love your brother with compassion (or as you would have yourself to be loved). I’m at peace today and will spend the latter part of my life doing my best to help others and to accept that it may never return. I’m at peace because I know even when others despitefully use me and give no respect that I have the favor and love of the greatest savior and friend I have ever known. Peace is with me today because of the compassion God gave me through Jesus Christ!

Let this small little blurb be a reminder of what compassion is, what it should mean to you, and what you should be doing with it!

 

Are You Overextended? Five Powerful Thoughts To Simplify Your Situation

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I love illustrations because sometimes it helps to explain feelings that do not always have good adjectives to represent them. Is your life defined by all you get done at work? Are you not getting enough done at home? Do people pressure you into doing more because they have unreasonable expectations or want someone to do it for them? Have you or do you deal with people that always seem to put more on you than what is reasonable? Do some situations that people put you in make you want to scream?!?

I guess what I am really asking is, do you feel overextended? Overextend in its meaning towards people means that you impose on (someone) an excessive burden of work or commitments. In reference to objects or ideals it means to make too long. If you really took a minute to look inside of your personal life you will find that in a lot (or maybe even) of the things you do is WAY more than one can accomplish in one day. We only get 24 hours in a day and at least 6 are for rest, all the while we have to work, run errands, do hobbies, put out drama fires, handle emergencies, etc. When the list piles up in your mind it almost makes every day like it’s the worst day to come.

To be honest I have been overextended in many things during the past 8 years. Let’s just hash some personal examples: working 40-50 hours a week, working out 5 times a week, commuting to work two hours for five days a week, preaching full-time, teaching music, attending music practice, working in outside ministry…wait a second…I have not even mentioned anything to do with family, friends, or my brothers & sisters in Christ!  Can you see where it would be easy to lose yourself in being overextended? This was also leaving a huge gap in my intimate adoration and worship to God. I’m happy to say that God has been working on me for the good and I’m reaching out to those who feel the same way to share with you how God has been teaching me to flip the script on busy living and to learn and take a deep breath (and that it’s okay).

Here are five thoughts God has inspired me to share with you:

1) If we have something that MUST be done, God will help you see it through

1 Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

James 1:12 “Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.”

Deadlines do not just disappear when we want them to. Having to deal with difficult situations do not just leave from our to-do list. To deal with these realities we must pray that God strengthen us for the hour that we will need it (and ultimately is harder than we can handle on our own). Seek God for continual peace through your difficult time and by His spirit you will never feel alone. If you allow God the chance to be there for you the joy you will feel when you come out of it will be as if you were royalty; undeserving of the happiness yet through God’s love its promised to you. That makes me smile.

2) To reduce over-extension we must learn to pray before we simply commit to more

One of the best methods to keep a person from being over-extended is to stop it before it ever occurs via prevention. How do we reduce the chances? Prayer is a very good starting place.

Proverbs 8:17  “I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.”

Deuteronomy 4:29-31 “But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the LORD thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; (For the LORD thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them.”

This passage not only references starting your day out with seeking God but for those who will allow God the chance to lead them even before a commitment. And once you have been showed by God what can be reduced then simply walk through the door and not worry over it any longer. The lighter we walk the more we embrace the burdens’ that God makes to be lighter!

3) People will only know your limits when you communicate them

Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

Romans 15: 1 “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”

“seasoned with salt” is a nice way to refer to the fact that we must communicate and handle situations with God’s widsom. By the wisdom of God we learn to know our boundaries and can be shown how to communicate the fact that we simply do not have the time or the strength to add more unto what is going on in the present. Until people hear from you and can understand that you are going through things then there is no one else at fault for this but you. Once you have spoken your boundaries it is then you give people the opportunity to help you bear the load and not continue to put more demands upon you. In fact if we live according to the word at that point those that are strong should change from their demands and begin to help you with your needs.

4) Don’t worry about what people think about you. You can only do so much with your commitments.

Psalm 118:5-6 “I called upon the Lord in distress: the Lord answered me, and set me in a large place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?”

Philippians 2:3-4 “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”

The kind of peace that helps you to stop thinking or worrying over the opinions of others only comes by the peace of God. Seek for it that your load may be lighter and that your desire become more aligned with pleasing God with how you live and the good you do with what you’ve got.

5) If you center your life to righteousness you can drop all the things that are “busy attacks” on your focus

Proverbs 23:4 “Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist”

Psalm 37:5 “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-22 “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;”

If the first priority in your life is God then I can assure you that the things you desire will begin to be aligned to his will. And as this happens you can see the things that come as opportunities as opposed to the things to shun that would just keep you busy all the time. God wants your life to be fruitful without your entire life being centered on making it happen by yourself. You even read in Luke 10:38-42 about Martha who was told by Christ that you are “anxious and trouble about many things but one is necessary”. What was that necessary? It was what Jesus called the “good portion”. There is a way of right-living before God that will reduce all the over-extending and allow you the opportunities to slow down and enjoy the moments that are right in front of you!

So just remember that at the end of the day there needs to be a season for all things, however you must yield to the seasons and not push beyond your means and max limits. Learning to allow God to give you strength when you need it and guidance when you have it creates a more balanced lifestyle. This balance can help you to be a better help to others and will help you realize what you can do with the time that would have been otherwise squandered by the enemy.

Odd One Out?

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Smiley

Recently I walked into a room with a group of people that I know quite well and found that rather than being greeted I was mostly ignored. Upon the quick realization of this silence I tried to compensate maybe assuming some backwardness or shyness and attempted to initiate the opening dialog of conversation. To my surprise this was met with even more resistance, leading to behavior which went to either diving into their cell phone or to begin talking with other people around them.

Once all this had happened and I had sat down for a minute to gather myself I had come to a newfound realization: I’ve been here before. I remember a time in my life where I felt like the odd man out, always fighting and seeking approval from others by efforts and exploits. I remember a time that without the closure of knowing I fit into the perceptual “popular” crowd that I would have been emotionally affected to the point of depression. The difference from when it had happened in the past and today is that I have something within me that has changed my answer on if I need the popular vote of approval.

Now I realize that if for nothing else this experience of mine has caused me to learn and grow in God even deeper. The demand for attention for a person and the behavior that follows this is mostly called having an ego. An ego is defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. When people live to speak of themselves (or only speak to those for whom they seek approval) and have little interest in others it displays an imagery of pride that we as Christians should not walk in. If we walk humbly with the spirit of God then we find that our behavior is the quite the opposite. In fact, the bible talks about the side effects of each behavior: “for every one that exalts himself shall be abased, and he that abases himself shall be exalted” (Luke 14:11).

You might be out there feeling like the odd one out amongst the world. I am here to remind you that it is okay to be that way. It is normal to be the first person to say hello and to ask about how someone is. It is not only acceptable but actually expected of us according to scripture: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

What I am about to tell you takes time to grow in but is necessary if you are to grow spiritually. You must learn to accept that there are people (friends, family, co-workers, etc.) that will have little or no interest in you or your life. Do not struggle to push your way through to get approval or interest. As Christians our primary goal is to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Part of this is learning to take interest in other peoples’ lives before your own. If you can learn to inquire of others and accept never getting to tell anything about yourself then you are taking one of the toughest steps in ministry (death of pride).

Always take the first step in the conversation and show interest in others first. This humbleness opens many doors and shows that your Christian witness is not defined by your ego. If you are rejected in your attempts to demonstrate your love by being engaging then simply walk away in your spirit knowing that you did all that you could to walk and talk as God would have you.

Five Actions To Keep Your Relationships Alive

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God has been dealing with me as to how we as human beings must continue to fight for those whom we hold dear. For without the efforts to keep love stirred between others the relationship begins to dwindle to a state of weakness, therefore leaving room for the enemy to intervene with the most foolish of dramatic events/rumors/jealousies/envyings/etc.

Here are five actions we must all learn to perform towards others (that’s right, towards others):

1) To sharpen mental integrity by sound counsel 

Proverbs 27:17 – Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

If you want to be a true friend to another person you must learn to share things in honesty spoken with love. God wants us to continually reveal the truth to each other, even when we find that it hurts. If you know of others that benefit from your counsel then take the time to share the things God has given you to speak. Holding the knowledge within hurts all parties; for it was given to be given and by that obedience to give it you are blessed and favored amongst many. The more of a sound spiritual counsel can be spoken the less the devil overcomes in peoples weakness. So if people around you are important, remember to speak what you know and have learned through Christ!

2) To learn how to agree and disagree 

Amos 3:3 – Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

Should you hope to have an honest friendship you must both be willing to accept the fact that you may never agree on specific details (doctrine, scripture, teaching, opinions, etc.). If you can learn to reason in a peaceful manner then I believe that an open and honest discussion of things helps both parties to grow in not only communicating to each other but to also learn more about how they can be a stronger brother/sister in God.

3) To be willing to sacrifice things for the benefit of another

John 15:13 – Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

If you are the kind of person that only helps others when it benefits you then you need to strongly reconsider your outlook. God does not bless us with anything just for us to keep it and reap it. God uses his children in the principle of reciprocity (what do you give for what you get). When you begin to become the kind of person that will spend more time to help others than yourself (when it calls for it) then you will begin to reap the blessings of God. Do not always expect an exact return for exact obedience. What you may do to bless someone may never be done exactly to you but this does not mean that you do not get an equal or exceeding blessing either. Sometimes God blesses your need and the want (as it falls in His will). Learn to give up time, money and resources for the greater good of others. It is of far greater benefit to sow more to others; for you will reap more as a friend to them and as an obedient vessel to Christ.

4) To encourage action in others that will bring good thinking and love

Hebrews 10:24-25 – And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:

Sometimes words are simply not enough to help someone. You may have to show up in person to get your message across. Having someone call you and tell you that you need to get up and go run is not as significant as having them knock on your door! Texting someone and telling them that you are praying for them (while worthwhile) is not as powerful as calling and praying on the phone or praying with the individual in person. To provoke is an active action to bring forth an action. Take that action for someone else and just see how blessed that you can truly be.

5) To be compassionate to the tribulations of another

Ruth 1:17 – Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, [if ought] but death part thee and me.

At last…this is the one I feel like is most lacking in friendships. Take the time to say “I’m sorry” when someone unloads on you. Offer to pray and be an ear to hear and shoulder to cry upon. When people do not exhibit compassion towards others than they are not a very presentable place for someone to lay their trust in. As ambassadors of God we must be God-like to the capacity of helping others to openly communicate their struggles. As we listen and gain understanding of their struggle we then should exhibit equal or greater compassion. Compassion is the greatest weapon to tear down the walls of fear and doubt, yet is one of the least used weapons of God’s people. Jesus walked, breathed and obeyed out of compassion. We have salvation because Jesus paid the price. Compassion is everything for a Christian and for those whom they encounter in a struggle. Learn to use this virtue in a greater way and see how God can begin to bloom out of others the blessings that will begin to bless you.

Sometimes People Just Won’t Get You

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John 15:18-25

[18] If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
[19] If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
[20] Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
[21] But all these things will they do unto you for my name’s sake, because they know not him that sent me.
[22] If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin.
[23] He that hateth me hateth my Father also.
[24] If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.
[25] But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

One of the toughest truths to accept when considering the social aspect of being a Christian is that sometimes people just won’t get you.

Let’s read from II Corinthians 12: 20:

[20] For I fear, lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I would, and that I shall be found unto you such as ye would not: lest there be debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings, tumults

Through the few years of ministry that I have made it through I have found all of the different types of negative behaviors attempt to attack me on a public as well as a personal level. There has been times that even when you are doing all of the right things that someone still finds a way to point something negative out to you. Some people will even tell others about something that is not wrong whatsoever just to attempt to create drama to elevate their status in self-righteousness. Drama happens whether or not you are in presence of others. The part that I have noticed about the enemies tactics through using willing people that will behave negatively is that they are nice to you in person and only feel the authority and power over you to work division while not in your presence. You will also find this behaviour as you read of the demons in the bible whom scared others from even walking by but began to change their tune when Jesus was in the midst!

Matthew 8:28-34

[28] And when he was come to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, there met him two possessed with devils, coming out of the tombs, exceeding fierce, so that no man might pass by that way.
[29] And, behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God? art thou come hither to torment us before the time?
[30] And there was a good way off from them an herd of many swine feeding.
[31] So the devils besought him, saying, If thou cast us out, suffer us to go away into the herd of swine.
[32] And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters.
[33] And they that kept them fled, and went their ways into the city, and told every thing, and what was befallen to the possessed of the devils.
[34] And, behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus: and when they saw him, they besought him that he would depart out of their coasts.

When the enemy is in the presence of the anointed he cannot exercise the same authority he could while working it in the shadows of what you cannot see or hear. Each of these kinds of feelings that people will bring on you are not things that you should take lightly or not prepare yourself against. One of the best nuggets of wisdom God has taught me is that you must not worry about what people will try to do to work against you. We as Christians must learn to work together and to see persecution as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block. For when we can endure the present sufferings of peoples’ persecution then we can be blessed by walking in the virtues that God has given and called us to use.

Continue in your calling and be not moved by the words and attempts to bring division. Stay steadfast in the love you have for all people and bless those that will despitefully use you for their own gain. Turn away from the petty attempts the devil uses behind your back to try and ensnare your favor and patience that God builds in us daily. Be strong and keep your mind focused on the one who loves you and forget the things that those who despise you will do. What your enemies will try to do only hinders what God tries to prosper. Jesus even recognized that mankind in its weakened state of sin doesn’t even know at times what we do; for in the greatest moment of suffering on the cross Jesus chose to love us and to prevail against all the things that would have kept us from the eternal fellowship and relationship we remain in with God today!